Be Real!

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. 1 Timothy 1:5

The whole point of what we are urging is simply love -love uncontaminated by self interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. 1 Timothy 1:5 The Message

This life offers us many moments in which we can celebrate our life so far, and in which we can laugh and remember the times shared with friends and loved ones which make life so special. This past week, I was able to celebrate a big birthday with some of my dearest friends. There was much laughter as we sat around a beautiful table to enjoy a “Swan House” type meal. I’m sorry, but there is no better lunch than chicken salad, frozen salad, quiche, and sweet tea!

During the jubilant conversation, one friend said, “I just have to tell you all that, as I look around this table, the one thing I love about you all is that you are real.” I loved that description of friends who are real about their life, their heart, and their faith. There’s nothing that we have been through in this life in which these girls are not there for each other.

When we are real, we emphasize authenticity, honesty, and living a life that is aligned with one’s true self, before God and others, encouraging transparency and rejecting facades. The Bible says that being real means being genuine and authentic and that God wants us to be who we are.

When Jesus picked His disciples, he did so after a night in prayer on a mountainside where he was seeking God’s guidance. In the morning, he called them together, and picked the twelve that were to be His apostles. These disciples came from various backgrounds including fishermen, a tax collector, and a zealot. When Jesus chose these men, He wasn’t looking for the strongest, the most handsome, or the most brazen. Rather, He was looking for real people. He chose people who could be changed by His love, and then He sent them out to communicate this love to others.

These disicples became His inner circle or His friends. They walked together, talked together, faced the elements together, ministered together, healed together, preached together, and I can imagine that Jesus could be real with them. Even though these men were real friends, in the end, one denied Him, one betrayed Him, and only one stood at the foot of the cross when He was crucified.

Jesus frequently went to a garden of ancient olive tress known as Gethsemane with His disciples to pray. On the night before His crucifixion after celebrating Passover, Jesus took His disciples there. At some point, he took three of them – Peter, James and John – to a place separated from the rest. Here, Jesus asked them to watch with Him and pray so they would not fall into temptaion, but they fell asleep.

Twice Jesus had to wake them and remind them to pray so they would not fall into temptation. This is especially poignant because Peter did fall into temptaion that very night when three times he denied knowing Jesus. These men were real friends to the Master; however, just like many of us, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Mark 14:38)

When we are real, there is no imitation and nothing artificial, but rather we are genuine. One of my favorite children’s books is The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery William Bianco, and it has a few paragraphs which offer insight into being real.

“What is real?” asked the rabbit when he and the skin horse were lying side by side near the nursery fender before Nana came to tidy up the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the skin horse. “it’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the skin horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real, you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once like being wound up,” the rabbit asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the skin horse, “it takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Ususally by the time you are real, all your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints…and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real, you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.”

This part of the book is a beautiful metaphor for the value of authenticity and vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to become more real it is a blessing to those around us.