It Takes Two!

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. Proverbs 31:10

It’s hard to believe, but this week Randy and I celebrate fifty one years of marriage! Fifty years was a real milestone, but as the years pass we are ever more conscious of the blessings we enjoy. Most of our age group are becoming more conscious of the vows we made years ago at the altar of our respective churches as we hear people quoting those vows. We hear “in sickness and in health” a lot lately. We also hear “for better or worse” and “for richer or poorer” being mentioned in conversations. As for me, I am more and more convinced that it takes two to honor those vows and to make a marriage work no matter the age or station in life.

The story is told of a woman who went away with friends on a long weekend retreat. Halfway through the first Monday morning, she suddenly jumped to her feet and left the room. Concerned, a friend followed her to see what had made her leave the meeting so abruptly. She found the woman just disconnecting from a phone call. The friend asked gently, “Is everything all right?” “Oh, yes.” replied the woman sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to alarm you, but I just realized that it’s Monday morning trash day.” Her friend replied, “Trash day? Isn’t your husband at home?” “Yes,” replied the woman, “but it takes two of us to put out the trash. One of us rolls it out, and one of us remembers to do it!” I can identify with this lady!

There are many secrets to a good marriage, and I am sure everyone has their own. Basically, the best secret, in my opinion, is to learn how to live and work together. The number one reason for divorce today is cited as “incompatibility.” No one ever said that people who are alike should get married. We are supposed to be different. When two people with different gifts decide to love one another and listen to one another, their differences can become a source of strength rather than a source of weakness.

When Randy asked my Daddy if he could marry me, first, he said, “Mr. Drake, I love your daughter.” My Daddy looked at him and said, “I love her, too. What have you got to offer her?” Without hesitation Randy said, “Well, right now, I’ve got a red VW and a strong back.” I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the answer Daddy was looking for, but he gave us his blessing (eventually).

Randy and I married while he was still in school at Emory, so we learned quickly that it takes two. It took one of us to get a degree for our future and one of us to work to provide the finances to live. Later, we learned that it takes two to start a youth program; one of us to get the kids there and one of us to help plan programs that relate to all of them.

When we had children, we learned that it takes two to raise a family; one to be the bread winner and one to put their career on hold to be at home for a while. It takes one to be the disciplinarian in the family, and one to be the good guy! When we began to serve churches, we learned that it takes two; one to preach, teach, visit, comfort, and evangelize, and one to be there every Sunday for support and to critique.

As the years go by, it still takes two. In our household, it takes one to grill and one to do the preparations inside. It takes one to tell stories and jokes, and it takes one to listen. It takes one to laugh at the same place in movies for the millionth time, and it takes one to laugh along in spite of knowing that line by heart. It takes one to watch the UGA vs TCU football game every week, and it takes one to point out that Georgia still wins every time. It takes one to remember, and one to forget to remember. It takes one to operate a cell phone and computer, and it takes one to try. It takes one to pay bills, and it takes one to trust that they’ve been paid. It takes one to pray out loud in a group, and it takes one to be grateful. It takes one to sit at the hospital with a friend or church member, and it takes one to be empathetic and wait at home. It takes one to hug, and it takes one to return the hug. It takes two to say “I love you.”

It takes two to build a marriage and a life. Thank heavens God is there to add the third partner that makes it whole. Happy Anniversary, Randy. I love you!