Listen

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.  James 1:19

Lately, I’ve become aware of the way people participate in conversations.  It seems that we are taking our cues from the interviews we see on television news and talk shows because it has become more about the interviewer than the interviewee.  The interviewer is quick to interrupt while interjecting their own opinions thus turning the whole thing into an argument rather than an interview.

I have a friend who says that when he is confronted with people who question him on his authority or ability or continually interrupt, he begins the conversation by stating the ground rules.  The rules are, “You talk first, and I will listen, then I will talk, and you listen.  No interrupting when it’s not your turn.”  That sounds like kindergarten rules, but it is the only way some people can communicate without imposing their opinions on others.

It’s been interesting to watch and listen to our conversations in small groups or social situations.  There are some who lose interest in the conversation unless they are the ones doing all the talking.  Others, listen with their ears, but are already presuming to know where the person speaking’s thoughts are headed, so their attention is divided as they mentally  prepare their answers or their disagreement.  The best listeners thoughtfully ponder what’s being said, process it, and then ask meaningful questions or make courteous comments.

While watching the hearings of the last month, it occurred to me, that we would all benefit by thoughtful listening rather than presumptive hearing.  What you live and what you say need to tie into each other when you speak.  There needs to be a connection there.  When we listen, we should do so with not only our ears, but our mind, our senses, and our heart.

As Larry King said, I never learned anything while I was talking.

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.  Proverbs 18-2