Diane Mickler's Blog

“I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot…when you think about the consequences, you always think of a negative result.”  Michael Jordan

During this season of basketball and anticipation of the Final Four, my mind wanders back to years ago. Our family had the privilege of living across the street from a family in Calhoun, who were and still are our close friends.  The family had two boys, William and Palmer, who, when added to our children, were stair steps in age. Rob and these boys were all into sports, and they were forever playing whatever sport was in season. Ashley and her friends were always the cheerleaders.  I always loved watching and listening to them play basketball using the goal mounted on the garage at the parsonage in Calhoun.

Their favorite game was “last shot”.  In this game, someone would count down from ten thus putting pressure on the one with the ball to take the last shot before the buzzer sounded.  It was a life lesson – although to them it was just fun!

First, it taught them a cool head under pressure.  I watched each one of these boys in game situations, and although they didn’t score each time, they were always the one the coach wanted to have the ball in a clutch situation.  I hope we will all be deserving of that honor when we are called upon to defend our faith and beliefs.

Next, it gave them confidence.  They never let negative results impact them because they knew they had done their best.  As long as we know we have done our best in life, we can have the confidence to make a difference for others.

Lastly, it gave them a love of the game, a competitive spirit, and an understanding of winning and losing, which endures to this day. I see the same love in Drew.  When I see him play the game, I know his daddy has taught him “last shot”.  It is true that “in life you often get what you expect” (Michael Hyatt).  Those boys always expected to make that shot, and more often than not, they did!  In life, we need to love each day and expect only the best from our Lord and Savior.

As Shaq would say, “One lucky shot deserves another.”

Just as a footnote, I am picking UNC!

“None is righteous (perfect), no not one.”  Romans 3:10

“The reality is that the only way change comes is when you lead by example.”  Anne Wojicki

Perfect is defined has “having no flaws.”  My Mama was blessed with a beautiful voice and along with that, she also had perfect pitch.  Perfect pitch is defined as “the ability to identify a musical tone without hearing the pitch as an external reference.”  So, in words I can understand, Mama could look at a sheet of music and without any musical instrument to give her the pitch, she could sing it flawlessly. I am afraid that I didn’t inherit this gift, but I do admire those others I know who possess it.

Possessing this gift can be both a blessing and a curse!  I can’t even imagine sitting next to people in the choir or anywhere else who have no idea about musical notes or tone and resisting the urge to lean away or plug your ears because you hear every mistake they make!  (I know about that because Randy sings one note, and he sings it badly).  Instead, Mama always led by example.  I saw this firsthand because I sat by her in the choir for years.  She never corrected me or anyone else, nor did she sing in their ear, but she was there, next to you, if you chose to follow her.  I know many other people who also lead by example.

As we prepare our hearts and minds during these 40 days of Lent, it is good for me to remember that Jesus came to give us the example of how we should live.  He never pushed, threatened, or  berated the people to whom he ministered. He just showed them (us) the way God would have us to live.  He modeled dependence on the Holy Spirit, submission to God in all things, servanthood, service, leadership, teaching, love, forgiveness, faith, hope, mentoring, and gentleness.

He was the perfect example which we should follow each day.  We have all sinned and fallen short, but it is good to know that when we stumble, no one among us is perfect!  God doesn’t measure us by our perfection, but by our love for Jesus.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine.”  Isaiah 43:1

I have always had problems with my name because my parents called me by my middle name instead of my first. That was never a problem in my tiny town because everyone knew my name was Diane. I’ve had other nicknames  – my Daddy called me “Pal”, my Mama called me “Sugar”, my cousins call me “Di”, Randy calls me “honey” most of the time, to my children, I am “Mom”, and to my grands, I am “DeDe”.   During my first year at Georgia, I had to become accustomed to answering to my first name, Susan.  It was tricky at first, but I adjusted.

I thought I was pretty good at it until I became Randy’s wife, (Mickler is a challenge to pronounce), and on top of that, a minister’s wife!  During our first two associate appointments, my name was not really that important – after all we were just that – associates.  I liked not having attention called to my name, but things really changed for me when we moved to the Newborn/Starrsville charge, my first “first lady” event.

People here loved and respected their minister, and they looked upon us as a sort of “holy family” if you will.  They had no problem calling Randy by his name, but they seemed to want to endow me with names of their choosing.  I learned to answer to, “Mrs. Preacher,”  “Randy’s wife,” “our Minister’s wife,” and  “Mrs. Mikeler”.  I always loved introductions because people would say, “Please meet Randy, our minister, and his wife.”  It was then up to me to say, “Hi, I’m Diane.”  It really didn’t matter because they would call me whatever they chose.  Although I probably never would admit it, I found myself resenting it.

There was a special man in the Starrsville church whose name was Guy.  I sat in front of Guy every Sunday and every Sunday, he greeted me with “Mornin, Mrs. Preacher.”  I always called him by name and responded.  One Sunday, I was having a bad day, and when he said “Mornin’, Mrs. Preacher,” I turned on him.  “Guy,” I said, “I have been sitting in front of you for almost two years, don’t you think you could call me Diane?”  He looked stunned, but then he said, “Well, I could, but you never told me it was all right with you!”  What a huge assumption on my part, but a lesson learned.  From that day forward, I always said, “My name is Diane.  Please call me by name.”

I am so glad that God knows us by name, and that He doesn’t wait for us to tell Him that it is all right to use that name.  He uses our name as He blesses us, forgives us, and uses us.  Thank God for our names!

“In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes.”  John Ruskin

Randy and I had a very successful and eventful two years in Dalton during the years of 1974-76.  I watched with pride as Randy took over Sunday night services, started a Sunday School class, and became a spark plug for the church.  Through his efforts, a declining Sunday night service began to draw a huge crowd, youth attendance increased, and inactive folks began to return!  I was puffed up with pride!  In March of 1976, we welcomed Rob, our first born! Life was very good.

It was about this time that the District Superintendent came to Randy and told him that he needed him to step out and take his first “pastor in charge” appointment. That is a church of your own. I was devastated! How could I be expected to move away from all the joy and excitement we had built in Dalton?!  Surely after all the achievements should be rewarded?! However, these decisions and sentiments were not up to us or more accurately, me.

We were presented with the opportunity to serve a county seat church in a precious North Georgia town.  It wasn’t Dalton, but I reasoned that we could do this.  About three weeks before moving day, that appointment fell through because a minister with “more” experience got the job.  Instead, we were presented with our new appointment – a two church circuit with the parsonage located in the tiny community of Newborn.  How could God expect me to move with a three month old child to this uncharted place? What an injustice!

Reality is reality, so that very day, Randy and I drove over to the little community and stopped in front of a beautiful little white church which was at the end of a street and the first thing you saw as you turned the corner.  The next door neighbor, who we would come to know as Sam, walked over to us as we stood there looking. “Well,” he said, “you must be our new preacher. I’ve heard that God will be using you to bring our little church back to life! I knew you’d be coming by to see our community and church.  Welcome!”  He reached in his back pocket and brought out a pair of work gloves.  “I am here to put my gloves on and do whatever you need. Let’s get to work!  I can hardly wait to see what God has in store!”

In that moment, I knew that I had committed a terrible injustice.  I almost missed God’s grace for us and this little church because of pride.  I had let my pride get in the way of our calling.  I had forgotten that I am the glove, but God is the hand that fills it. Without Him, we can do nothing.

In June, we packed up our new baby, our few personal belongings, loaded our cars, and moved to Newborn to start helping fill the gloves with God’s hands.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility value others above yourselves.”  Phillippians 2:3

“I don’t always know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want.”   Stanley Kubrick

Randy and I watched the movie “Hell or High Water” last week, and there was one scene which I loved because it made me laugh out loud.  The waitress played her part with such authenticity.  The lawmen in this scene, were in a restaurant and the waitress asked one question, “what don’t you want?” They were obviously confused, so she explained by saying, “This restaurant only serves steak and potato. That’s it. You can have squash or broccoli as a side – which one don’t you want?”

I started thinking about all the times I have thought I wanted something whether materialistic or spiritual.  I want a new outfit, I want a new car, I want a better prayer life, I want to know more about the Bible, but what don’t I want?

When I am with my grandkids, I hear those words, “I want” a lot.  Usually it has something to do with material things.  The only time I hear, “I don’t want” is when we suggest something with which they don’t agree such as early bedtimes or baths.

As we approach Ash Wednesday, I want to share  a list of things I “don’t want” in my life instead of things I want.  I “don’t want” fear, envy, impatience, bitterness, resentment, doubt, self pity, pride, worry, or guilt. I “don’t want” to ever feel the need to make excuses for myself.  I “don’t want” to be negative or compare myself to others.  I “don’t want” to ever feel unworthy as we are all wonderfully made.  I “don’t want” to give up on my dreams or to discourage those around me who are dreamers.  I “don’t want” to find myself unable to forgive those with whom I harbor bad feelings for something I feel they have done.  I “don’t want” to live a day without a smile or laughter.  I “don’t want” to forget to tell people that I love them and am grateful for them.  I “don’t want” to regret anything I might have said or done. I “don’t want” to let go of precious memories of people who are no longer here.  I “don’t want” to live without Jesus in my life.

As we enter this season of Lent, I “don’t want” this world to go another day without the knowledge of a risen Savior.  I’m giving up “wanting” this year for Lent and substituting things I “don’t” want.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently there were many trees cut down on Willeo Road next to our neighborhood to make room for a new Senior Living facility.  I love trees, and it saddened me to see them go!  I kept hoping they would spare the old oaks, but that wasn’t to be. These trees were lush and green on the outside and looked healthy with no visible signs of decay.  Once the wood was cut and stacked, I saw what I could not see from the outside -some of them were sick on the inside and thus dying from the inside out.

Experts say that other than the usual fungus, bugs, or bacteria, two things are mostly responsible for a tree’s decay.  The first is scars left by different ordeals during the years such as blunt force trauma or storms. The second is weak branch unions which means the branches aren’t securely attached to the tree trunk which is its source of life.

I’ve heard it said that you should “Never judge a book by its cover.”   People tend to put forward their best by showing others their “outside” self while inside they are dealing with scars. They are smiling on the outside while inside they are dying under the worry, disappointment, and fear in their lives.  I know several people who are dealing with scars, and when I see how hard they work to present a “happy” outside, it breaks my heart because I know the inside turmoil they face.

If branches need to be securely attached to the tree which gives it life, it makes sense to me that we need to be securely attached to our Heavenly Father who give us strength and enrichment for our lives.  It’s easy to think all is well when in fact, we are dying on the inside without the Father’s sweet touch and love.  We need to attach ourselves firmly and completely to the tree of life, Jesus Christ.  He can help us deal with the scars and keep the union strong.

“But if Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is life because of righteousness.”  Romans 8:10

“Think of all the disappointing or bad things that have happened to you.  Be comforted by this, God did not take His hands off the wheel of your life for a nanosecond.” Proverbs 31 website by Joni Ereckson Tada

When I think of wheels, two kinds come immediately to mind – the wagon wheel and the wheel of my car.  Recently as I was following the Parsons family on their blog, I was reminded of another wheel – that of a sail boat or a boat of any kind.  This family of five sails with Dad as Captain, Mom as Admiral, and three children as sailors. Their recent sail had all the drama, problems, and joys of a novel.  I had no idea the skill it takes to manuver a ship when you must sail at night or through the bad storms that will most certainly come at sea. I never thought of engines that don’t function properly or auto pilots that are disabled.  I prayed for them all the time because I love them, but also because I was afraid for them just reading about their adventure.

In the midst of the problems,  I always felt, as I read their words, the complete confidence they had in their skill, the assurance they felt through prayer, and the example they set by being so positive all the time. These qualities are needed to be an example of Jesus to others.

It is often hard for me to give up the “wheel” of my life to God.  I think by grasping it tighter and being more determined, I can change things and make everything turn out the way I think it should.  The song “Jesus Take The Wheel” comes to mind.  It would be so much easier to trust God with the uncharted territory that lies ahead.

The wagon wheel is much like our life and God.  God is the center and the spokes are our lives.  The spokes all meet in the center in order to make the wheel roll.  Our lives need to be centered in God to make things work according to His plan.

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.”  Matthew 7:12

I heard this week that Kyle Shanahan, the Offensive Coordinator of the Falcons lost his playbook during a media blitz.  The playbook is defined by Webster as “a stock of unusual tactics or methods; a notebook containing descriptions and diagrams of football plays.”  This doesn’t sound important to me, but I bet it is to Kyle.

One would think that on the week of the biggest game of the year, Offensive Coordinators would guard something like this a little more closely.  The media says it was a “classic mix up” as someone mistook Shanahan’s bag for theirs and left with it.  I guess we will see if in that “mix up” the other team was able to get the information they needed.  Hopefully, they aren’t guilty!

It made me think of life and playbooks.  What are the rules?  What’s fair? How far will people go in bending the rules?  God has given us the ultimate playbook and yet we try to bend His rules in every way imaginable.  We sometimes lie, we cheat, we even steal, but we qualify these actions in our own mind.  Are we just as guilty as someone who might take a playbook before  a big game?   Aubrey Bruce said, “People spend their years in prosperity and go down to the grave in peace, yet they say to God ‘leave us alone we have no desire to know Your ways.'”

I hear a lot of talk in football about making halftime adjustments. An adjustment is “a small change that improves something or makes it work better.”  I wonder if this will be necessary for the Falcons on Sunday?  In life, as in football, there are so many times when adjustments need to be made to follow God’s path for our lives.  Sometimes adjustments work, sometimes they don’t.  When we have to make an adjustment in the way we are living, it only seems logical to look to God for the right play from His Playbook.  Then, we can avoid the “classic mix up.”

Rise UP!!

“A friend loves at all times.”  Proverbs 17:17

I had a surprise visit from my long time friend, Stella, the other day.  We met and bonded in Calhoun, in 1983.  We were across the street neighbors with children and different problems, and we needed each other.  Since both of us are from South Georgia, we had no problem relating to each other in everything from growing up years to peanuts and cotton.  She is my spiritual Sister, and no matter when we see each other, we are able to take right up from where we were last time we talked.

Tom, a friend in water aerobics calls these kinds of people “Secret Sistas” ( his pronunciation, not mine). I love his thoughts.  His wife is legally blind, and he takes care of her, but he says that without these “Sistas”, she would have no support group.  “These Sistas understand her, and she can share anything with them,” he says.  They also send cards, tapes, cd’s, etc. anonymously to cheer his wife – thus the name, “Secret Sistas”.

I am fortunate in my life to have those “sistas”.  These are friends with whom I can laugh, cry, gossip, sip some wine, vacation, go out to lunch, and so many other things.  They are there when you celebrate and there when you cry.  Two of these “Sistas” showed up at my house the morning my Mama died.  They walked right upstairs where I was dazedly packing just to hug me and tell me they loved me.  That meant more to me than I can say!

I am fortunate to have two biological sisters with whom I can share life with its blessings and its challenges.  It is such a blessing to know that I can count on them during good times and bad.  We’ve had more occasions than normal lately to lean on each other, and I am thankful for those memories and times we share in addition to the support we offer each other.

Sisters and “Sistas” come into your life to be God’s angels sent to walk through this world with you.  I am so thankful that God has blessed me with both!  If you are reading this, then you are a special “Sista” to me!  Thank you!

“Say to wisdom, ‘you are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend.”  Proverbs 7:4

“Wherever you are going, God has already been there and paved the way for you.”  Deut. 31:8

I have a first cousin, Jack, who is exactly 7 days older than me.  We grew up blocks apart, had birthday celebrations together, vacations together, and generally were each other’s best friend during our growing up years.

Jack played quarterback on our high school football team. Our friends, Andy, Joe, and Bo were wide receivers and running backs respectively. Gary played on the line.  These guys taught me the rules of the game, the penalties and what they mean, the positions of the players, and they basically helped me understand why they loved it and taught me to love it as well.  I’m a pretty good football fan because of them.

Randy played center on his high school football team and now Cooper, our 10 year old grandson, is following in his footsteps.  Cooper is the center for his team, and nobody gets past that big guy!  He has a good friend who is a running back, and they always support each other.

I used to laugh at Gary as he would relive calls that the announcer made during the game.  It seems that all the glory always goes to the ones who score the touchdown, make the big run, or catch that pass.  Gary always said, “I’d like to see Bo, Andy, or Joe make those plays without us guys on the line to clear the way for them!”  I guess he paraphrased the quote by Knute Rochne, “Those four horsemen would not get very far without those seven mules in front.”

That statement has a lot of meaning for me. I wonder where we would be without those in life who went ahead of us to clear the way.  In the game of football as in the game of life, there are those who celebrate great accomplishments by pointing at themselves and forget all those who have sacrificed on their behalf.  Nobody does it by themselves.

I can always spot a smart quarterback, receiver, fullback, or kicker when they thank the people on the line after a great play!  If they don’t have your back, you are in trouble.

Likewise, the smart people in this world always thank and respect those who have come before to build what they now enjoy!  Just like those linemen – never forget those who have your back!

As I cheer for the Falcons tomorrow and look forward to the Super Bowl, I lift up “the line”.  Rise Up!